Well written, thanks for sharing your journey. I'm doing something similar myself. The key is accepting the fact that it's a lifestyle choice, for well, a lifetime...

I walk about 2 hours a day, sometimes more, I focus on getting enough protein (something which I always neglected) and I do various pushups with half/partial reps range that focuses on time under tension, mind muscle connection and the pump.

All of which I do on a daily basis as to build a consistent habit, but keep my sets low enough for recovery and not to burn out, while looking forward to my daily pump.

You'd be surprised at the amount of resistance and the muscles you can target by doing pushups simply by changing up arm spreads and positioning as well as the angles of your hand placements etc.

I've purposely gave myself 4 months to adjust to everything, allowing some indulgences, but making sure I don't go too far off the rails. I learned forgiving myself and consistency is much more valuable than discipline and will power.

Granted, I only have 20lbs to lose, so far lost 10lbs. But, I've built a "physical hygene" routine I actually enjoy. My muscle growth and purportions are filling out better than when I had ever attended a gym.

Now, that I have the habits down, I plan on challenging myself for the next 4-5 weeks for the last 10lbs. Then back to a maintenance mode.

I feel that fitness and diet routines should have 4-6 month goals. Getting to a point where once you're at your baseline maintenance weight and shape, then you can push a little before going on vacation etc. Gain a little during special occasions etc. But always maintain a physical hygiene routine so you don't go too far off the rails something like a 5-6lbs window.

Sorry for the long reply..
Thanks for your article I really enjoyed reading it ...😊